It seems I never write much about what Gabe’s up to, what he’s saying, what he’s learning. And to be honest, that is how I feel everyday. Gabe doesn’t demand attention like everyone else. Days can go by where I don’t feel like I’ve really done anything specifically with or for him. It’s a terrible feeling. But somehow it happens again and again. I tell myself that “tomorrow” I’m going to find something that makes him tick – that inspires him. And then, in the tomorrow, the demands of the other children and the necessary fullness of survival takes all my time and attention. Once again I tuck him in bed, kiss him goodnight, and feel like I miss him.
Gabriel does a lot of what Zach does. He follows along but with less of an attention span for it. He delights in the information Zach passes on, he tries the latest art techniques, he plays the games. But the things that I think are really Gabe are things like riding the trailer bike, archery, building things….. and those seem to be the things I can least get to. Gabe and Ben play a lot of games together these days.
I’m still working on a remedy for this situation.